Home > Uncategorized > Note to future self – studying is hella stress as well as stimulating

Note to future self – studying is hella stress as well as stimulating

Sorry for anyone that actually reads my blog. This is even more self-centered than normal!

Dear future self.

Yes, you enjoy studying. Yes it has been amazing to be learning. And yes research is incredible to be involved in.

But I’ve not slept properly for a fortnight! Night before last, despite being shattered and going to bed at 11, it was after 4 that I finally nodded off. And that was only for a few hours. Yesterday was spent in a sleep deprived haze, though was oddly productive despite that – 3 hours worth of interview coded! And yet last night over course of a couple hours in bed it took a double shot of vodka (and I’ve been off alcohol for about 6 months) and finally 5mg of zolpidem to eventually get to sleep, and a pretty disturbed one at that (awake 5-6am but then slept through til after 9)

YOU DO NOT COPE WELL WITH DEADLINES!

So do not think, oh this time will be different. Try and still participate in the learning and thinking and putting bits of puzzle together that you enjoy, but not in the context of an academic assessment with deadlines to stress you out.

Write more for easy things like the blog. Where the deadline is “when its done” and you can enjoy it again.

And yes. That means *no* PhD. Seriously. 3 years of this shit? I know that this dissertation would expand really interestingly, or that action research project would be really cool, but find another way of doing it.

Best wishes,
2012 me.

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